I Just Wanna Go Home....

Loneliness... ugly, heart wrenching, painful feelings of being alone. An emotion that tears at your very soul, at the core of your being. An ache that never seems to go away.

It comes to all of us at one time or another. It can creep up when we least expect it, for reasons that may seem unreasonable. Mentally we try to overcome it, but there is no way for us to completely drive it away.

You know when you have experienced it, but unless someone else has been through a similar situation, that person will never know the depths of your suffering. To them, there is no reason for such intense feelings. Logically it doesn't make sense. But to you, there is no pain that is so acute, no trauma to the soul that is more agonizing.

Sometimes it comes when a friend leaves. Sometimes it comes when a friend dies. Sometimes it comes when a heart is abused and love is left to die.

My daughter knows the pain. After spending nearly a year of her life on an island hours away from "home" with children that she learned to love intensely, she returned to a land that no longer felt like "home." While we tried to make her transition back as painless as possible, we could not heal the ache of loneliness and homesickness that dogs every moment of her day.

Recently I have been feeling the same way. My pain seems like it has gotten more agonizing, my eyes fill with tears much too often, and I find myself daydreaming at all times of the day and night. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night sobbing from the ache of separation. I just hurt...

I understand homesickness. I yearn for a land that I have never seen, except through the eyes of faith. I want more than life itself to be able to go to a place where there is no sickness, no death, no prison bars, no separation, no leaving, no good byes. I want to be able to throw my arms around my heavenly Father and know that He will never let me go away from Him again. I want all of my friends and family with me to spend an eternity in joyous celebrations of life and love.

Just thinking of that day fills my eyes with tears and fills my heart with hope! Jesus promised, "If I go away, I will come again!" (John 14:3) The angels said, "This same Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will so come in like manner as you saw Him go into heaven." (Acts 1:11) Paul said, "For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.... Therefore, comfort one another with these words." (1 Thessalonians 4:16, 18)

That's the day that I am longing for! This world will never be my home, and while I will continue to serve the Lord to the best of my ability, and pray for all of the hurting and heartbreaking requests that are sent to me daily, my one desire is to go to the place that is prepared for me.

Are you up to taking a trip with me?

"Even so, come Lord Jesus!" (Revelation 22:20)

God bless you abundantly!