It's Time to Let Go...

I guess it happens to all of us at some point in our lives. And none of us is proud to admit to it. The problem is, it hangs on to us, digging its claws into our flesh like the stray cat I was so unfortunate to pick up a couple weeks ago. And the scars that cat left on my arm are very similar to the ones that this leaves on our hearts.

I'm talking about holding a grudge.

You know, that time when someone that you thought you could trust did something so horrible to you that you can never forget or forgive. When your best friend went behind your back and told other people that which you thought you had shared in confidence. When people laughed at you because of something you had done, and there was only one person who was privy to that event in your life. All fingers pointed to that "friend" betraying you. And you vowed that you would never forgive.

Even now, as I described the attributes of this attitude, I saw in myself some of the very things that I was describing. Honestly, there are people in my past that I have no desire to contact because when they learned of my failures (and these were legitimate failures, for sure!), they laughed at me. And only one person had known of my "human-ness."

It's time for me to let it go.

I'm sure that if my "friend" was contacted, he would have a hard time remembering the incident (it was 35 years ago!). What he told others no longer is a part of his life - to him I am sure it was just a funny story, a chance to make some people laugh. If I saw those people they might remember the story, but in no way has it affected their lives.

My point is, I am the only one that this "insult" has affected. The fact that I remember this event after 35 years and the fact that I have no desire to reconnect with high school friends because of my fear of - of what? That they might laugh? That they might talk behind my back? That they might decide that they don't want to be my best friend? All of those fears just reinforce the truth that my little grudge did no good to anyone, and did damage only to me.

It's like that cat. It shows up about the time I am feeding our cats, and as long as I don't pick it up, it is fine hanging around our house. But if I pick it up, only then will it put all of its efforts into hurting me. And the longer I hold on, the more damage I receive. When I let go, the cat is just fine. I'm the one that is left bleeding.

Do you get my point? Hanging on to grudges, remembering past pains that others have inflicted on us, dwelling on how others have betrayed us - all of those things will never affect others as much as it will hurt us.

Jesus had Roman soldiers who were doing actual, physical damage to Him, and His response was to pray, "Father, forgive them, because they don't know what they are doing." When Stephen was being stoned, he cried out, "Lord, do not charge them with this sin." And I have the audacity to hang on to a perceived threat against my character?

It's time to let go.

God bless you abundantly!