Saturday, February 14, 2009

141 hours, 3 minutes...

...But who's keeping track....

If, as the Bible says, we are blessed with 70 years of life (Psalm 90:10), that would mean we would experience 613,200 hours. That's not too many, when you think about it. To achieve the magical number of one million, a person would have to live for over 114 years.

Put that way, it makes the U. S. deficit seem to be considerable....

But I'm not talking about a cash shortage. I'm referring to the amount of time until I board a plane to go to Saipan. The Lord has opened doors for me to bring a message of love and trust to a group of kids at a Christian school half a world away. I will spend a week of my life with them, sharing the most important thing on earth - a relationship with my Savior.

I feel like I am so unworthy. True, I want more than anything to be able to tell what my Lord has done for me - but there are so many others who have their story to tell. So why did the Lord pick me? Right now I may not know, but someday - whether on this earth or in heaven - I will know.

There may be some gaps in the Prayers of Faith that I send out - I'm not sure what access I will have to computers and the Internet - but I am sure that you will understand. I am also sure that I will be able to rely on you all praying for me.

If I may be so bold, could you pray for these things while I am gone? First, pray for the teachers at the school. Teachers often have the most thankless jobs, and can do the most positive good for our children. While I may fly in and out with a message of hope for the kids, it will be the task of the teachers to carry the message throughout the year. My heart aches for those teachers - Lord, please bless them.

Second, pray for the students. These kids, ranging from preschool to high school, come from such a variety of backgrounds and ethnic differences. Their training is as varied as the color of their skin, and yet they all need to feel love and acceptance. Most importantly, they need to feel God's arms of love around them, and to know that He will never leave them nor forsake them. Father, please bless them.

Third, I ask that you pray for these parents. For many, their association with this school is the only formal interaction with Christians they have. Having a strange American man coming to speak to their children could be threatening. Teaching their children to trust a God they don't know could be seen unfavorably. Only God can change their hearts - Lord, please bless these dear parents.

140 hours and 31 minutes now.... There is so much that I need to do to get ready. I have my list, and I'm checking it off as I complete each task. I just hope that I don't forget anything.

I wonder... How many hours until Jesus comes? Have I made a list so I am prepared for that trip as well?

How about you?

God bless you abundantly!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

It's Time to Let Go...

I guess it happens to all of us at some point in our lives. And none of us is proud to admit to it. The problem is, it hangs on to us, digging its claws into our flesh like the stray cat I was so unfortunate to pick up a couple weeks ago. And the scars that cat left on my arm are very similar to the ones that this leaves on our hearts.

I'm talking about holding a grudge.

You know, that time when someone that you thought you could trust did something so horrible to you that you can never forget or forgive. When your best friend went behind your back and told other people that which you thought you had shared in confidence. When people laughed at you because of something you had done, and there was only one person who was privy to that event in your life. All fingers pointed to that "friend" betraying you. And you vowed that you would never forgive.

Even now, as I described the attributes of this attitude, I saw in myself some of the very things that I was describing. Honestly, there are people in my past that I have no desire to contact because when they learned of my failures (and these were legitimate failures, for sure!), they laughed at me. And only one person had known of my "human-ness."

It's time for me to let it go.

I'm sure that if my "friend" was contacted, he would have a hard time remembering the incident (it was 35 years ago!). What he told others no longer is a part of his life - to him I am sure it was just a funny story, a chance to make some people laugh. If I saw those people they might remember the story, but in no way has it affected their lives.

My point is, I am the only one that this "insult" has affected. The fact that I remember this event after 35 years and the fact that I have no desire to reconnect with high school friends because of my fear of - of what? That they might laugh? That they might talk behind my back? That they might decide that they don't want to be my best friend? All of those fears just reinforce the truth that my little grudge did no good to anyone, and did damage only to me.

It's like that cat. It shows up about the time I am feeding our cats, and as long as I don't pick it up, it is fine hanging around our house. But if I pick it up, only then will it put all of its efforts into hurting me. And the longer I hold on, the more damage I receive. When I let go, the cat is just fine. I'm the one that is left bleeding.

Do you get my point? Hanging on to grudges, remembering past pains that others have inflicted on us, dwelling on how others have betrayed us - all of those things will never affect others as much as it will hurt us.

Jesus had Roman soldiers who were doing actual, physical damage to Him, and His response was to pray, "Father, forgive them, because they don't know what they are doing." When Stephen was being stoned, he cried out, "Lord, do not charge them with this sin." And I have the audacity to hang on to a perceived threat against my character?

It's time to let go.

God bless you abundantly!