It's so quiet I can hear the clock ticking from across the room.
My fingers seem reluctant to transfer my thoughts onto the computer screen, pausing as if to say, "This week has taken a lot out of us as well." The cat, who usually is outside, jumps up on the couch to rub her head against my hand, then wanders through the house to investigate what is usually off limits to her.
I'm by myself because my wife has driven hundreds of miles to be with her mother who was admitted to the intensive care unit in a hospital near her home. The call tonight let me know that her mom is doing a little better, but still on the ventilator. Still needing our prayers.
Sitting here, I try to count the negative things that have happened this week, but I soon run out of fingers. Some things that happened were easier to shrug off - other things unexpectedly destroyed me. Even thought I tried to keep a smile on my face, the nights have been hard, and sleep has been rare.
I actually caught myself feeling like Elijah must have felt when he was running from Jezebel. I Kings 19:10, last part says, "I alone am left, and they seek to take my life." Maybe it wasn't my physical life, but some were out to destroy what I felt I had built up over the past 22 years, and I was powerless to stop them. People close to me - ones I had relied on for support - announced that they were leaving. Friends I had trusted failed me, and my own failures rushed in to take a prominent place in my thoughts.
I pick up my Bible and somehow find my way to I Peter. My eyes wander over the verses, picking out phrases here and there that give me such courage: "For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps...." (I Peter 2:21) "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice...." (I Peter 4:12,13) "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (I Peter 5:7)
My thoughts go back to Elijah and what happened to him after he was sure he was going to die. He experienced a great and mighty wind that "tore into the mountain," but God was not in the wind. The earth shook, throwing Elijah onto the ground, but the Lord was not in the earthquake either. Then the mountain was on fire, and Elijah sought shelter from the heat, but God could not be found in the fire.
And then it was quiet. The contrast between what was before and what Elijah was now experiencing was as different as night is from day. I imagine that Elijah eased himself down onto the ground, leaned his back against a tree, and felt the pent-up stress slowly leave his body. And only then did he hear the still small voice.
The voice said, "What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here? Why, my life is destroyed - my foundation crumbled. Everything that I have worked for is gone. I am the only one left who even cares about You and Your covenant!"
I have to stop reading, because I realize that God is speaking to me. This week may have felt like a lashing wind, an earthquake, and a devouring flame, but dwelling on those things - hanging around those events and allowing them to control me - does not fit into God's plan for me. While I am wallowing in the midst of my troubles, God is asking, "What are you doing here?"
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. I pick up the Word of God and again let my eyes scan the words that have blessed me so many times: "...be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
The healing has begun. The quietness of the evening embraces me. I can hear the clock ticking again.
God bless you abundantly!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Remembering Joseph
I was thinking today of Joseph...
You know, the Joseph in the Bible - the spoiled kid who got everything he wanted. The one who had no problem tattling on his older brothers when he heard they were doing things that they shouldn't do.
His brothers weren't too pleased with his behaviors, and because he was the favored little kid that was always hanging around, they had no problems treating him poorly. That was before he started having dreams that showcased his superiority. His stories always seemed to feature him as the center of attention, with his brother and even his parents bowing down to him. He was arrogant enough to share the dreams - not smart enough to realize that they would only antagonize his siblings.
So now we have this know-it-all who thinks he is the cream of the family crop, whose brothers can't wait to have him knocked down a few rungs on the ladder. And that's pretty much what happened. His brothers jumped at the opportunity to make a few shekels by selling him to some traveling traders and put an end to his story. "We can drag the multicolored tunic through some goat's blood, tell Dad a story about finding the coat in the desert, and wash our hands of the whole situation," they thought. No more little brother with a superiority complex.
Tough break for little Joseph. Most of us wouldn't hold out much hope for him making it in the real world. We can imagine what would happen the first time he tried to show his superiority to his new masters - I don't believe they would look too kindly on a slave with "airs," especially in Egypt. But apparently that never happened. Something transpired on that trip from Dothan to Egypt.
What happened to that 17-year-old boy who had alienated himself from his brothers. to the young man who became a slave in Egypt who, as it says in Genesis 39:2, had the LORD with him? What transpired on that dusty trip, while he was probably tied to the animals and forced to walk the entire way, that changed that egotistical boy into a man of God?
I would guess that he had the opportunity to do a lot of thinking on that trip. And a lot of praying. Instead of blaming God, I believe that he developed a relationship with God - a willingness to accept whatever God had for him, whether it was good or bad. And while his trials were far from over, that ongoing relationship was able to carry him throughout the rest of his long life.
The reason that I was thinking of Joseph was because it hit me that the life-long relationship that he had with God was solidified during the tough times, not in the times of comfort and abundance. Yet so many times I hear of people who let their grip on God go when the difficult times hit their lives. And I wonder - what makes the difference? Why is it that trials can bring us to Christ or cause us to throw the relationship into the trash?
I can't answer for others, but the story of Joseph makes it clear to me that God will do whatever it takes to help us make a decision for Him. And, unfortunately, most of the time we don't chose Him when all is well, when the stock market is making us tons of money, or when the silver spoon we are born with is continually filled with the "fat of the land." He is willing to risk all in the hopes that we will see that our entire lives are dependent on our relationship with Him. And sooner or later, we all will have that moment of truth - that point in our lives that forces us to make a decision - where we will chose God or turn away from Him.
Imagine what would have happened if Joseph had not been sold into slavery. How different would the history of the nation of Israel been if Joseph had ended up being a selfish old man who had an ongoing feud with his brothers? Where will our story be if we do not meet Christ through the crisis?
Have you had some tough times this week? Remember the story of Joseph....
You know, the Joseph in the Bible - the spoiled kid who got everything he wanted. The one who had no problem tattling on his older brothers when he heard they were doing things that they shouldn't do.
His brothers weren't too pleased with his behaviors, and because he was the favored little kid that was always hanging around, they had no problems treating him poorly. That was before he started having dreams that showcased his superiority. His stories always seemed to feature him as the center of attention, with his brother and even his parents bowing down to him. He was arrogant enough to share the dreams - not smart enough to realize that they would only antagonize his siblings.
So now we have this know-it-all who thinks he is the cream of the family crop, whose brothers can't wait to have him knocked down a few rungs on the ladder. And that's pretty much what happened. His brothers jumped at the opportunity to make a few shekels by selling him to some traveling traders and put an end to his story. "We can drag the multicolored tunic through some goat's blood, tell Dad a story about finding the coat in the desert, and wash our hands of the whole situation," they thought. No more little brother with a superiority complex.
Tough break for little Joseph. Most of us wouldn't hold out much hope for him making it in the real world. We can imagine what would happen the first time he tried to show his superiority to his new masters - I don't believe they would look too kindly on a slave with "airs," especially in Egypt. But apparently that never happened. Something transpired on that trip from Dothan to Egypt.
What happened to that 17-year-old boy who had alienated himself from his brothers. to the young man who became a slave in Egypt who, as it says in Genesis 39:2, had the LORD with him? What transpired on that dusty trip, while he was probably tied to the animals and forced to walk the entire way, that changed that egotistical boy into a man of God?
I would guess that he had the opportunity to do a lot of thinking on that trip. And a lot of praying. Instead of blaming God, I believe that he developed a relationship with God - a willingness to accept whatever God had for him, whether it was good or bad. And while his trials were far from over, that ongoing relationship was able to carry him throughout the rest of his long life.
The reason that I was thinking of Joseph was because it hit me that the life-long relationship that he had with God was solidified during the tough times, not in the times of comfort and abundance. Yet so many times I hear of people who let their grip on God go when the difficult times hit their lives. And I wonder - what makes the difference? Why is it that trials can bring us to Christ or cause us to throw the relationship into the trash?
I can't answer for others, but the story of Joseph makes it clear to me that God will do whatever it takes to help us make a decision for Him. And, unfortunately, most of the time we don't chose Him when all is well, when the stock market is making us tons of money, or when the silver spoon we are born with is continually filled with the "fat of the land." He is willing to risk all in the hopes that we will see that our entire lives are dependent on our relationship with Him. And sooner or later, we all will have that moment of truth - that point in our lives that forces us to make a decision - where we will chose God or turn away from Him.
Imagine what would have happened if Joseph had not been sold into slavery. How different would the history of the nation of Israel been if Joseph had ended up being a selfish old man who had an ongoing feud with his brothers? Where will our story be if we do not meet Christ through the crisis?
Have you had some tough times this week? Remember the story of Joseph....
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Where the Wind Blows
Officially the wind is blowing today at 32 to 40 miles an hour. When the gusts hit the side of the house and you literally feel it shaking, it reminds you that 40 miles per hour is no small amount. The drop in temperature (with the wind chill factor) makes me glad that I am comfortably resting at home this afternoon. Inside where there is no wind....
Occasionally I see leaves and branches tumble past the house, torn from nearby trees by the power of the wind. A plastic bag, seemingly freed from gravity's clutches, soars skyward, bouncing off the electric lines on its way to who knows where. Dust, kicked up by a passing car, clouds the view momentarily, then is scattered by another gust of the never-ending wind.
Where I live, winds like this are rare. Light breezes usually send the trees into a rhythmic dance, creating a pleasing atmosphere and ambiance that soothes the mind. The wind we experience tends to caress the flowers and massage the beasts in the field. It can best be described as "gentle."
But it is the same wind. One day it can bring a peaceful breeze, the next a tornado. At one time it creates a calm, while another time it blows uneasiness into our hearts.
Jesus told His disciples, "Let's go to the other side of the lake." So they boarded several little boats and headed across Galilee. These experienced fishermen knew what they were doing; they had spent many days on this lake, and were familiar with the nature of the wind. But they weren't prepared for a storm like the one that hit them. Mark 4:37 says "...a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling."
The disciples - men used to struggling against the elements - were terrified at the certainty of their destruction. They found Jesus asleep in the stern of the boat and shook Him awake. "Don't You care," they yelled, "that we are perishing?"
We all remember the story, how Jesus rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And we remember how the disciples marveled that this Man could speak and the winds would obey Him.
But Jesus had something else to say to His disciples, something that has significance for us living in the times that we live. Mark 4:40 records that Jesus turned to them and asked, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"
This past week we have felt the winds blow around the world. The very things that we have relied on, the foundations of our daily lives, have been shaken to their very cores. Lives have been radically changed, and the fear that comes with imminent destruction has gripped many hearts. Some have cried out to God, saying, "Don't You care that we are perishing?"
Jesus' message to us is the same one that He spoke to those frightened fishermen. We know, from reading His Word, that the last days will be tumultuous ones. But these are not times that we will endure alone. There is Someone who is riding along with us, Someone encouraging us to have faith - to hold on just a little longer. Someone who has the ability to bring this ship safely to the other shore.
It looks like the wind has already calmed down a little....
Occasionally I see leaves and branches tumble past the house, torn from nearby trees by the power of the wind. A plastic bag, seemingly freed from gravity's clutches, soars skyward, bouncing off the electric lines on its way to who knows where. Dust, kicked up by a passing car, clouds the view momentarily, then is scattered by another gust of the never-ending wind.
Where I live, winds like this are rare. Light breezes usually send the trees into a rhythmic dance, creating a pleasing atmosphere and ambiance that soothes the mind. The wind we experience tends to caress the flowers and massage the beasts in the field. It can best be described as "gentle."
But it is the same wind. One day it can bring a peaceful breeze, the next a tornado. At one time it creates a calm, while another time it blows uneasiness into our hearts.
Jesus told His disciples, "Let's go to the other side of the lake." So they boarded several little boats and headed across Galilee. These experienced fishermen knew what they were doing; they had spent many days on this lake, and were familiar with the nature of the wind. But they weren't prepared for a storm like the one that hit them. Mark 4:37 says "...a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling."
The disciples - men used to struggling against the elements - were terrified at the certainty of their destruction. They found Jesus asleep in the stern of the boat and shook Him awake. "Don't You care," they yelled, "that we are perishing?"
We all remember the story, how Jesus rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And we remember how the disciples marveled that this Man could speak and the winds would obey Him.
But Jesus had something else to say to His disciples, something that has significance for us living in the times that we live. Mark 4:40 records that Jesus turned to them and asked, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"
This past week we have felt the winds blow around the world. The very things that we have relied on, the foundations of our daily lives, have been shaken to their very cores. Lives have been radically changed, and the fear that comes with imminent destruction has gripped many hearts. Some have cried out to God, saying, "Don't You care that we are perishing?"
Jesus' message to us is the same one that He spoke to those frightened fishermen. We know, from reading His Word, that the last days will be tumultuous ones. But these are not times that we will endure alone. There is Someone who is riding along with us, Someone encouraging us to have faith - to hold on just a little longer. Someone who has the ability to bring this ship safely to the other shore.
It looks like the wind has already calmed down a little....
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Tears of Joy in a Time of Pain
I cried this week...
Sure, for those of you who know me personally, that declaration comes as no surprise. I tend to have my emotions only slightly hidden under a veneer of perceived composure, and anything (sometime without warning!) can bring them to the top. But in this case you might have cried as well.
How many years I have known her, I really can't tell. And to say that I "know" her is probably stretching it a bit. She works in the same facility that I work in, but her hours are opposite of mine, so it is rare that I see her. But this week she made a special effort to arrange to meet with me after she got off from work, following a long, busy night.
Here first words were, "I need to take some Family Medical time off." I had heard that her husband was having some health problems, and my initial thought was that he needed her help while he got over his illness. It wasn't that, although her husband had worsened and was currently on hospice. She didn't know how long it would be before he would die. But that isn't why she needed time off.
She had gone to visit her mother and step father last week, getting there just as they were bringing him home following a gall bladder surgery. As soon as she saw him, she said, "What else is going on?" She knew, from working in a hospital, that he shouldn't have a catheter or be on oxygen from a simple gall bladder surgery. Her mom, who is legally blind, didn't know anything, but said that he had an appointment with the doctor on the next Monday.
It was on that day that she discovered her step father, who was more like a father to her than her real father, had stage 4 cancer. It had progressed so much that they would not even start treatments, but immediately arranged for hospice. All she could do was get her cousin, who has multiple sclerosis, to come in to care for him while she rushed back home to request time off, then take her husband with her to spend those last days with Dad.
When she finished telling me this story, she turned to me with her eyes brimming with tears and said, "How can people go through this life without Jesus?"
We arranged for her time off, and I had a prayer with her - and I cried. As she walked away, I was reminded of Job. Job didn't know why he was going through all of the trials that he experienced, but he never let go of God! It is amazing that no matter what happened, he still trusted God. Job 13:15 says, "Though He kills me, yet I will still trust Him."
But what is even more notable is that God trusted him. You see, Satan's accusation was against God, not against Job. Yet God knew Job well enough - the relationship was strong enough - that He was willing to put it all on the line, and know that Job would come out shining as gold - a true witness of what happens when humanity is united in partnership with the Almighty.
So I cried. Not because the story I heard was so sad, which it was, but because here was a woman of God who was trusted to bear the burden and still represent God in a positive light. I cried because I was in the presence of someone who was actively being used by God.
James 1:2 says, "Count it all joy when you fall into various trials." Are you experiencing trials in your life? Do you realize that God is trusting you to be His witness through the fire? Can that fill you with joy in spite of the pain?
Can I shed a tear of joy for you too?
Sure, for those of you who know me personally, that declaration comes as no surprise. I tend to have my emotions only slightly hidden under a veneer of perceived composure, and anything (sometime without warning!) can bring them to the top. But in this case you might have cried as well.
How many years I have known her, I really can't tell. And to say that I "know" her is probably stretching it a bit. She works in the same facility that I work in, but her hours are opposite of mine, so it is rare that I see her. But this week she made a special effort to arrange to meet with me after she got off from work, following a long, busy night.
Here first words were, "I need to take some Family Medical time off." I had heard that her husband was having some health problems, and my initial thought was that he needed her help while he got over his illness. It wasn't that, although her husband had worsened and was currently on hospice. She didn't know how long it would be before he would die. But that isn't why she needed time off.
She had gone to visit her mother and step father last week, getting there just as they were bringing him home following a gall bladder surgery. As soon as she saw him, she said, "What else is going on?" She knew, from working in a hospital, that he shouldn't have a catheter or be on oxygen from a simple gall bladder surgery. Her mom, who is legally blind, didn't know anything, but said that he had an appointment with the doctor on the next Monday.
It was on that day that she discovered her step father, who was more like a father to her than her real father, had stage 4 cancer. It had progressed so much that they would not even start treatments, but immediately arranged for hospice. All she could do was get her cousin, who has multiple sclerosis, to come in to care for him while she rushed back home to request time off, then take her husband with her to spend those last days with Dad.
When she finished telling me this story, she turned to me with her eyes brimming with tears and said, "How can people go through this life without Jesus?"
We arranged for her time off, and I had a prayer with her - and I cried. As she walked away, I was reminded of Job. Job didn't know why he was going through all of the trials that he experienced, but he never let go of God! It is amazing that no matter what happened, he still trusted God. Job 13:15 says, "Though He kills me, yet I will still trust Him."
But what is even more notable is that God trusted him. You see, Satan's accusation was against God, not against Job. Yet God knew Job well enough - the relationship was strong enough - that He was willing to put it all on the line, and know that Job would come out shining as gold - a true witness of what happens when humanity is united in partnership with the Almighty.
So I cried. Not because the story I heard was so sad, which it was, but because here was a woman of God who was trusted to bear the burden and still represent God in a positive light. I cried because I was in the presence of someone who was actively being used by God.
James 1:2 says, "Count it all joy when you fall into various trials." Are you experiencing trials in your life? Do you realize that God is trusting you to be His witness through the fire? Can that fill you with joy in spite of the pain?
Can I shed a tear of joy for you too?
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